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Ashlee’s Story,
I grew up in a home where there were three children and I was the only girl. My father left my mother when I was two years old. My mother later met a man who would introduce her to drugs and become physically abusive to her and us children as well.
I ran away from home at the age of sixteen with the first person who showed a little concern and compassion for my living situation, my best friend, who happened to be a female. We had a relationship and lived together for 6 months. Right before meeting her I was introduced to God and I never felt right about our relationship. I loved her yet I had this unexplainable fear of God. I knew what I was doing was wrong and it was the hardest thing I ever did, we broke up after high school.
After high school my parents and I were evicted from our home and were living in a campground. I met some friends during the summer and moved in with them. I was working part time.
I met my daughter’s father when I was nineteen and we moved in together. He was not physically abusive, but was very belittling and degrading to me. After leaving him I became promiscuous and was searching all around for the love I never had. Then I started a relationship with a man that had just gotten out of prison. We started dating and the physical abuse began. Once he picked me up around my neck by his forearm during a fight and said he was going to kill me. I couldn’t breathe and thought I was going to die. He was sent back to prison. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me, I was a wreck. I thought I would end up homeless and alone.
I started going to church. One night when they asked if people wanted prayer to come forward, I knew I couldn’t and I sat there balling my eyes out. I knew there was a God my entire life; I just never imagined that He could love me with all my mistakes in my life. I prayed God you know that I need prayer, but I can’t go and talk to some stranger about my life, so if you would please send someone to pray for me, please. Within seconds I had a girl who had been sitting behind me tap me on the shoulder and asked me if she could pray for me. She later befriended me and got me involved in the church and became a spiritual mentor to me.
After all the trails I had been through I am now so miraculously happy and at peace, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Life is still hard and I still have some trails and sometimes wonder how I will make it, but each day there are new mercies available to me from God. Someone asked why I still had faith after all I had been through, I answered “my faith is all I have left”. I have never been let down by God, so why would I doubt Him now.
Ashlee,
National City, California